Would you please give me permission to be who I am without
categorizing what you see?
Must I really live up to some image that you created of me to conform to?
Can you accept the fact that I am a combination of many unique socially-created categories bound together?
Cos I am whatever you say I am. If I wasn’t then why would I say I am?
We’re raised believing morality equals respect for elders.
Don’t back chat your teacher.
Don’t disagree with uncle.
Greet aunty, and make tea for all the grownups.
You can’t watch tv now, dad’s watching.
And in my case particularly, listen to your chess coach respectfully. Stop crying. Learn from your mistakes. You’re being naughty.
Anyways. I still have to do, believe, and listen to adults who, by the time you’re an adult yourself, are now people in positions of authority power or more knowledge – and still of course, those much older than you.
It cripples me.
Apologies for the silence. I’m aware that this email is long overdue.
I must let you know that I’ve decided to deregister. My experience with the previous supervisor was reminiscent of a bad experience I had as an adolscent with my chess coach. I have been unable to overcome the fear of submitting to the process and will resume once I am stronger.
While I now know I am not lazy or stupid, I also now know that this method of learning just simply isn’t healthy for me right now.
Thanks for trying. You were always very kind to me.
You are what you do, not what you think. And man justifiably judges your words and deeds.
But not God. He sees all and He knows your heart.
That’s why only He can judge you.
Why is it that those who fell off and made a comeback are more glorified than those who never fell off?
Shouldn’t he who has never fallen off be the ultimate? He who has never fallen into temptation, He who has walked the straight and narrow diligently, Why is his journey disregarded, not praised, not impressive, insignificant, and less admirable?
Mmm… I’m not talking about challenges we’re faced with because yes, each person gets dealt a different set of cards and have no control over other players. Rather, I’m talking about the kid who makes all the right decisions despite being influenced negatively – being able to resist the temptations and became somethig great by never falling. Her journey is less celebrated than the kid who fell for the temptations, overcame it, and then became something great.
Mmm… Am I missing something?